Swimming In Water While Dying Of Thirst
by Brenda Shoshanna, PhD, New York City
All of us are beings of illusion, like a fish swimming in water, dying of thirst. Here we are, right in the water of life, with all the nourishment we need everywhere, but we don’t see it. We think it’s somewhere else and spend our lives searching, as we suffer, dying in thirst.
Craving Nourishment
In our craving for nourishment, we leave our home, (the ocean), jump out onto dry land and look everywhere. Then we wonder why we feel so empty, forgotten and forlorn. Why is there no nourishment, we wonder. What a cruel world with no one taking care of us.
But this is simply an illusion with water waiting abundantly right where we are. And yet we live out on dry land, searching among mirages and fantasies for what we need. Instead of returning to the ocean, we count upon a mirage to provide water, and that’s where the trouble really begins.
Confused, we chase after fantasies of all kinds, which can never provide the nourishment we are longing for. Our needs intensify as does our disappointment and sense of futility. And all the while an abundance of water, food, fulfillment is waiting close by.
Nobody’s to blame for this, this is the nature of how we’re constructed as beings of illusion. Sooner or later we begin to blame ourselves, feel like failures of unworthy of having our needs met. Or we decide we are receiving a much needed punishment of some kind. These beliefs only keep us from turning in the direction of home.
Instead we continue searching on dry land. Perhaps it’s a relationship we run to, a certain job, or activity as a way to find the respect we crave. But all of this never satisfies our thirst because first we must see the truth of the matter. We must recognize who we are, where we came from, what our true needs are, where our true home is and what is provided for us there.
Discovering Our True Needs
In order to see through the mirages of our lives and turn in the right direction we must know what our true needs are. Our true needs are not the same as our hopes and desires. It can come as a shock to realize that what will truly nourish us is simple, available and plentiful for all. It may not fulfill our fantasies, or build a false sense of ourselves, but it will take care of the hunger we live with and provide true fulfillment. But how do we discover what our true needs and home are?
See An Illusion as an Illusion
If we don’t know how to see an illusion as an illusion, how can we get our thirst quenched. Usually run to other people to meet our needs, see them as a source of fulfillment, able to quench our thirst. Then we turn away, become agitated when it doesn’t work.
We fight them, blame them, or twist ourselves into a pretzel to please them. When nothing works out we feel as if we’ve failed again. It seems inevitable to blame others for keeping us hungry, not providing for our needs.
It’s actually a huge illusion to think another person exists in this world to meet your needs, and or that they even can. Even if you meet the most perfect, beautiful, person, that’s not how it works. As we begin to see through this, we can then turn in a different direction and find the true road back home.
The Needs We Think We Have, Are Often Another Illusion as Well
Beyond that, let’s take another step and see that many of the needs we think we must have met, are just illusions as well. For instance, we have an illusion that we’re alone, that no one cares about us. That’s a common illusion that hurts terribly. Another mirage we live with is that I’m a failure or unworthy if I don’t get my needs met and I probably don’t deserve to. But this is not at all true. We’re never alone ever, cannot be alone even if we wanted to. We are with ourselves, the sky, spirit, trees and birds and plant, on and on.
What Do I Truly Need?
But the illusions keep coming along with the pain, because we believe them. We don’t sit down and take the time to say what do I really need? How is it different from what I might desire, or fantasize about? So many so-called needs are self-created, conditioned — like I need money, stature, respect. I need to fit in and look, everybody has it better than I do.
When we give energy to the illusions, we’re in trouble. It’s as though we have a role in a play. Each role comes with its own perceptions, needs, illusions. But it’s only a role we’re playing. The minute we take a different role, different needs arise. Perhaps in this different role you need to be seen, heard, known. In the other role, not. Why not give up playing different roles and live the simple truth of who we are. You’ll be amazed at how fulfilling that is.
When we return to our natural selves and environment, swim in the water again, appreciate and value it, not only are we honoring ourselves but living from the truth of our lives. In Zen practice we discover how to return to the basis of our lives, to the ocean. Then we taste true nourishment which will not float away.
The true journey then is simply to return home, to the ocean, which is right here in front of us always. We have never been separated from it. It has simply been waiting for us to return and jump right in.
Brenda Shoshanna, PhD is an award winning author, speaker, psychologist and long term Zen practitioner. Her work integrates the teachings of East and West and focuses upon how to live the teachings in our everyday lives. This article is based upon her book Zen Play (Instructions In Becoming Fully Alive). This book explores the ways in which we can make our lives into a Zen Koan. Then difficulties are no longer problems, but a wonderful adventure to enjoy. Brenda offers talks, workshops and a You Tube channel, Dr Brenda Shoshanna, where she offers, Simple Solutions In A Complex World. You can contact her at topspeaker@yahoo.com. Her You Tube channel is Dr. Brenda Shoshanna.
