3 Things That Changed My Self-View and Where I Fit in the World
by Sean McMann
If you are anything like me, I’m betting there are two of you. I’m not talking about your elusive doppelgänger. I’m talking about who you are at work versus who you are at home, with friends or in the rest of your life. It’s curious how we talk about our various “lives,” – our work life, our home life, our life with family and friends—as if they are completely different, unrelated things. It’s as if we somehow learned to compartmentalize our life a little too well, without realizing the consequences.
How Our Past Creates Our Present and Future
I have a theory about where this compartmentalization arises ... school. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming our already underpaid teachers. God knows we need them, and I am very appreciative of my sons’ teachers. What I am referring to is the way we are taught in school, how learning material as separate subjects, all with their own experts, history and facts, leaves us subconsciously viewing things as separate, when they are all really deeply and forever intertwined.
Let me explain. English is simply a language in communication, much like math is the language of explaining and predicting matter. Cooking is simply chemistry that we eat. Herbology is a deeper study of the chemistry of plants in order to know how to use them to help heal us. Both farming and livestock farming are precursors to cooking. Astrology is taking a wider lens towards biology. Conversely, quantum physics is taking the smallest lens to the same subject. Although clearly effective in terms of getting children to rapidly grasp the basics of each subject, I can’t help but wonder what we lose by allowing ourselves to keep viewing them as separate.
School and Me
Surprise! Admittedly, when I was younger, I generally did not like school. While there were some subjects I enjoyed more than others, had it been up to me, I would have stopped going the minute they explained what a bathroom pass was. I mean, I had been out of diapers since I was a baby; who were these people telling me I couldn’t go to the bathroom anytime I wanted! Unreasonable outside control over my bladder was only one of the things I didn’t like about school. The other was the idea of specialization itself. I never could get very interested in any single subject, just like I never could get interested and passionate about any single sport.
Why learn one subject when I could keep learning them all? Similarly, why play one sport when I could play them all? The fact we were progressively and more aggressively encouraged to focus on a single subject in this grand scheme of academic compartmentalization led me to feel more and more like something was wrong with me. Until recently, I envied people who knew they wanted to be doctors at age 12, or actors or singers at 9. Being so sure of what they were meant to do seemed blissful, heavenly even.
My Journey to Learning
You might ask, what changed?
Thing 1: I started reading more.
A book that really changed my outlook (and there have been many) was Range, Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, by David Epstein. Among other things, it helped me see I wasn’t alone, and that not fitting into any particular specialization is what actually made me fit into our society as a whole. It was my hunger to learn and read in all different subjects that was actually my superpower, and not an indication something was wrong with me.
Thing 2: I heard a song.
I heard The Sunscreen Song, by Baz Luhrmann, a spoken-word song giving various pieces of advice on how to live a happier life and avoid common frustrations. I highly recommend you listen to it, because no written word can do it justice the way this performance does.
Thing 3: I began going where others told me not to.
When an immediate supervisor told me I didn’t need to learn something, I would immediately put it on my list of what to learn next. Eventually, I was talking to engineers, developers, mathematicians, and accountants in ways others couldn’t. I allowed the fact I was interested in so many subjects to be my greatest strength, instead of my greatest insecurity.
In hindsight, I’ve come to realize the feeling I had of living two lives, one at home and one at work, was rooted in a deep insecurity that I picked up back in school. With no clear interest in any single subject or specialization, it was easier to think something was wrong with me, instead of realizing that’s where I best fit --right in between everybody, getting them talking, sharing, and being comfortable with not knowing. In effect, I discovered my limitless thirst for more knowledge was my greatest asset. It was something others needed, could learn from, and could benefit from.
I wonder what you, your company, and your friends and family are missing out on by your continuing to keep living two lives? And I hope you will follow my lead to find out.
Sean McMann was recruited right out of college to work at one of the largest data firms, and then embarked on an eight-year journey from new grad to consulting director. Privileged to see behind the curtain of some of the largest corporations today, he recognized the system was broken and quit at the height of his career, when working the least but making the most money he ever had, betting everything, including his money, reputation, and time, on trying to fix the problem of the corporate jungle. He shares his insights in his new book, Hacking the Corporate Jungle: How to Work Less, Make More and Actually Like Your Life. When he's not writing, researching, and speaking, McMann spends his time riding his bike, visiting art museums, snowboarding, and playing with his two young sons. Learn more at seanmcmann.com
